HOW TO UNWARP A F*&%ED PIECE OF WAX

Remember that absolutely pristine-looking Mobile Fidelity copy of Katy Lied you found mixed in with all the Mitch Miller sing-a-longs and children’s Christmas records at that garage sale two years ago -- the one that you paid all of $.50 for even though it was too warped to play? Or how ‘bout that original Beatles Sgt. Pepper’s that your dad gave you for the same reason 30 years ago rather than just throw away? Ha! Go get ‘em Musical Meddlers, it’s time to play ‘em. Well, almost. You’d be amazed with what you can accomplish with two pieces of glass and your oven.

No, I’ve not gone off the deep end. I’ve been able to restore to service just about any warped record I’ve run across, but not without a few crash and burns along the way. The first thing I have to caution you about when using this method is that it is a process you have to practice. Start with old, unimportant records. That way, should something go wrong before you master the process, you won’t decry the loss of a precious and irreplaceable treasure.

If you are like most vinyl collectors, you have one or two slightly warped pieces lying in wait. If not, you can troll the local Goodwill or Salvation Army stores, where you may be able to dredge up a couple of warped discs for next to nothing to experiment with and get your process perfected. No letters if you ruin one or two records in the process please -- use this method ONLY at your own risk. I assure you, once you’ve gotten this method down, you’ll be glad you took the extra time to iron out (sorry, I couldn’t resist) the wrinkles in the process...

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